The Green Door
by SisiDraig
Summary: Mighty Boosh/ IT crowd cross over. Set after 'The Red door'. Jen can't resist but open the green door, with the help of the Goth, Richmond. Though when they go through the door they do not expect to come out in Vince and Howard's sitting room!...xx
1. Chapter 1

**Don't know if this has been done before; I did look through the other stories but I got bored on page 9, so if it has… sorry!!**

**Set at the end of The IT crowd - 'The Red Door'. **

**D/C: None of it is mine, both shows belongs to various people, none of which are me. :(**

**Will be mainly Boosh... but not in this chapter.  
**

**Okay, here goes:**

* * *

"Everything will be fine as long as no one goes through _that _door." said Roy, pointing at a the menacing green door with the lion head.

"Why?" Jen asked, that familiar feeling of curiosity bubbling up inside her again. The one she'd had just before she'd stumbled upon the gothic forth member of the IT department.

"D'you want another replay of what just happened?" Roy asked, eyes flicking to the red door and remembering the whole sorry 'Richmond' incident.

"What? Is there another Goth behind this door too?" she asked, stepping towards the door. She felt as though she was being sucked in, like a moth drawn to the flame. She couldn't resist.

"I don't know." Roy answered truthfully, "we've never opened it"

"I am going to estimate that it is very improbable that another Goth lives behind that door. What it is safe to say is that we should _never _look." announced Moss pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"Jen!" warned Roy, as Jen put her hand mindlessly on the door handle and stroked it, almost lovingly.

"What? I wasn't going to open it, I was just… making sure the handle wasn't… cold."

"Ah, right. Well that's okay then." said Moss, sitting down behind the desk.

"hmmm," Jen disappeared in to her office, saying "I'm going to just get on with some work then."

"Moss. Moss." hissed Roy, when he thought Jen was safely out of ear shot.

"Mmm?"

"I've got to go up to fifth floor and sort out Julia's computer."

"Has she tried turning it off and on again?"

"I don't know, but apparently she used to be a model. So, I think I'm going to deal with this personally."

"Oh, I see. A lady."

"Yes Moss, a lady. But you have to keep an eye on Jen. Make sure she doesn't open that door."

"But she said she wouldn't…"

"Yeah, she did, she did say that but I didn't believe her."

"Why not?"

"She lies all the time Moss!" yelled Roy.

"Yes, but… this time I think she's telling the truth. We need to trust Jen more now."

"She let Richmond out of the his room after we told her not to."

"I think that was a mistake."

"I think you're an idiot. Just make sure Jen doesn't go through that door. Got it?"

"Okay."

"Excellent." said Roy, leaving the room quickly.

--

A few minutes later Jen reappeared from the office.

"Moss, I've just had a phone call from Denholm,"

"I didn't hear the phone ring."

"Well it did. He's got a problem with his... laptop." she said, eyeing the green door.

"Has he tried turning it off and on again?"

"Ummm, yes."

"Has he checked it's plugged in?"

"Umm, I'm going to say yes."

"Has he…"

"YES MOSS! He's done everything he had to, it's still broken! Now get up there an fix it."

"Oh, okay then." Moss jumped up, knocking the phone off his desk. "But you have to promise not to go through that door, while I'm away."

"Oh I wont." Jen promised, almost drooling as she stared at the door.

"Then I can see no reason at all as to why I shouldn't leave you almost entirely alone with this door." Moss said, picking up a circuit board and trotting quickly to Denholm's office.

--

'It's so beautiful' breathed Jen, touching the door handle. She couldn't resist, she pushed the door hard. It was stuck, she pushed it even harder. Still stuck. She kicked the door.

"ARGH!" She grabbed her painful foot, punching the door with her fist. She needed someone to help her. "Richmond." she breathed, spinning round and coming face to face with the Goth.

"Ahhhh!" she screamed. Richmond jumped furiously.

"What is it?" he said, in his low baritone.

"Sorry Richmond. I didn't mean to make you jump."

"Did I startle you?"

"Um, a little."

"But you did call me, didn't you?"

"Well, I said your name."

"I see, I have very sensitive hearing you see. Most Goths do, we need it to be able to fully appreciate the intricacy of contemporary dark wave bands such as 'Cradle of Filth'."

"I see, well now that you're here, d'you think you can give me a hand?"

"I suppose. What is it that you need?"

"Just open this door."

"This door." Richmond asked, pointing a long pale finger at the door.

"Yes, just give it a push."

Richmond pushed the door open with little effort.

"Hello" came a voice from the darkness behind the door.

"Hello." Jen called back.

"Hello." came the voice again, sounding a little nervous.

"Who's there?" called Jen.

"Are you a Goth?" Richmond added. "I like the lions head on your door."

"Howard." yelled the shaky voice. "Howard, Help! There's voices coming from our fireplace."

"Howard?" mouthed Jen. Richmond shrugged in response as a second northern voice replied:

"Have you been out drinking all night again Vince? Voices from the fireplace, honestly."

"I think we should go through." Jen whispered, turning back to Richmond.

"Oh, oh I don't know. Moss and Roy said we shouldn't go through this door."

"But there's people in here Richmond, remember how you felt before you were allowed out of your room."

"Yes." answered the Goth, staring off into the distance.

"Don't do that." sighed Jen, grabbing the Goths arm. "Come on. We're going through."

And without waiting for a response Jen pulled Richmond through the door, shutting it behind them.

* * *

**What d'you think? Should I continue? I'm not sure how it's going to work from now on (maybe a Vince/Richmond direction, or is that wrong??). Either way, I love The IT crowd and the Mighty Boosh so I figured a cross-over was the only way to go.**

**Love to know what ya think!**

**Sisi…xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I've been genuinely shocked by the response this fic has had. There were mixed views on the Vince/Richmond thing so I'm holding fire on that (for now!). Also I have no idea where I'm taking this, so any idea's would be very happily received. Lol. **

**But here's the next chapter, hope it doesn't disappoint… **

* * *

Vince stared at the heap of limps on the floor in front of him, his eyes widening like blue saucers.

"Wow" he breathed "Do you live in our fireplace?"

"No." scowled Jen, disentangling herself from Richmond, standing up and brushing herself down. "We're from the IT department, what department is this?"

"Department?" frowned Vince, watching Richmond standing himself up. "Wow!" he gasped "Are you a Goth?"

"Umm, yes." replied Richmond, shifting a little uncomfortably. As Vince circled him shouting,

"Look at your clothes, they're genius!"

"Oh, well… thank you. No one's ever liked my clothes before."

"And your hair, that's amazing!"

"Mm, your hairs quite good too. I don't like you clothes though, far too cheerful. They're making my eyes hurt." Richmond said, covering his face with his long bony fingers.

"Oooo, I like your rings, too." cried Vince excitedly, reaching out to touch them.

"Oh, what are you doing?" asked Richmond stepping away nervously.

"I knew the Goth look was coming back in, but Leroy said it was all about the hippies. I should never have trusted him" Vince frowned, looking down at his own electro-hippie look. "Is the Goth look back in?" he asked, beaming up at the other man.

"Umm, I don't know." Richmond admitted taking yet another step backwards. "I spend most of my time in a cupboard."

"Oooo. And your necklace is_ so_ cool." Vince cried, ignoring Richmond's response. "And your milky contact lens, have you got any more of those?"

"Ummm." Richmond shot a glance at Jen which said 'Help' but Jen wasn't paying any attention, she was still trying to work out what department they were in. So he said simply, "Why are you so happy? There's absolutely no point to anything, can't you see that?"

"Well, I… um." Vince stalled, completely confused, he loved the Goth look, but he simple couldn't comprehend the Goth mentality.

Just then, Howard stormed through the door very angrily.

"Vince!" he yelled, "What the hell is going on? This better not be a party. Who are these people?"

"I don't know." shrugged Vince, eyes fixed on the Goth. "They came through our fireplace."

"They 'came through our fireplace'?" frowned Howard. "Are you taking the mick? I'm an intelligent man Vince, I'm not going to fall for… what the hell is this freak wearing?"

"Hey!" cried Vince, indignantly. "That's a strong gothic look, leave him alone."

"Whatever Vince. Just get rid of them!" Howard sighed, completely exasperated. He'd only just recovered from Vince's attempt at creating a hippie dream catcher with one of Howard's jazz records. ("But it was the perfect shape" he'd protested "Anyway, I didn't think you'd notice it was gone."

"How am I supposed to get rid of them?" Vince asked indignantly. "They came out of the fireplace, we can't just put them back, there's no door back there."

"How do you know that?" frowned Howard.

"I checked." Vince admitted, blushing furiously.

"When?"

"Christmas time, you said Santa didn't come down the chimney so I thought there must've been a door because there's no other way to come through the fireplace."

"Vince." Howard explained "When I said Santa didn't come down the chimney, I didn't mean he came in another way, I meant…" Howard looked into Vince's innocent eyes and sighed "never mind." before, turning his attention to Jen and Richmond. "Where are you two from?"

"IT department." smiled Jen, holding out her hand. "Which department is this? Are you toilet cleaners? I knew Denholm liked the toilet cleaners but…"

"Toilet cleaners? Department?" interrupted Howard. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

"Sorry," she smiled "How rude of me. I'm Jen and this is Richmond,"

"Hello." piped up Richmond.

"And who are you?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes flirtily up at Howard. Vince snorted loudly, earning himself a filthy look off the moustached man.

"My names Howard." he smiled, taking Jen's hand "And this is Vince."

"Hello." beamed Vince "Would you like a sweet?" he asked holding the bag out he'd been holding.

"No thank you." said Jen, still staring at Howard.

"Richmond?" Vince asked offering the bag to him.

"Oh, ummm, go on then." said he Goth taking a sweet. "I like the jelly babies, I like to pretend they're tiny little people and then bite of their heads." Vince looked worried for a second but shrugging it off, he smiled and handed Richmond the bag. The Goth shivered. How could anyone be so happy?

"Umm, Vince." Howard called nervously.

"Yeah." said the electro-poof spinning around to find Howard edging away from a quickly advancing Jen, who was saying things like "You seem like a normal guy, not gay, not an angry security guard, no incriminating name. Nice and normal."

"C-can I have a word, in the hall?"

"Sure." chuckled Vince, turning back to Richmond "I'll be right back."

--

"What's going on?"

"I don't know." Vince said, honestly. "I was just sat eating sweets watching Colobus the Crab and suddenly people appeared on the floor."

"Vince." frowned Howard.

"What?!"

"'People appeared on the floor'?"

"They did." insisted Vince. "Honestly Howard I wouldn't lie about that. Not that I'm worried. Did you see how cool Richmond was?"

"He was a Goth!"

"So, I've always liked the Goth look." shrugged Vince. "What about you anyway?" he smirked

"What about me?"

"Pulling Jen."

"What are you talking about?"

"That red-head was all over you."

"Was she?"

"Yeah, fluttering her eyelashes, shuffling up to you, staring at you. Classic flirting!"

"Well, of course she was flirting with me. I'm a man of action, women find me irresistible."

"Really?"

"Yes, sir. I can hardly get through the day with at least someone flirting with me."

Vince rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. You didn't even notice.""I did"

"Whatever. Hey, you could teach me to be more miserable." Vince beamed changing the subject quickly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you _are_ a bit miserable, Howard. You write dark poems. You're a tortured soul, everyone knows that."

"Well, I suppose." smiled Howard, pleased that Vince was asking for his help. "But why?"

"Well if the Goth look's back in, I'm going to have to act more gothic. Richmond said I was too cheerful."

"Woah, you're taking advise off that oddball."

"Well…he had a good fashion sense."

"Are you sure? Anyway, didn't you think he looked a bit… familiar?"

"That's just because he's a Goth. All Goth's look the same.

"No I mean _really_ familiar. I really felt I'd seen him somewhere before."

"Well I don't know."

"Anyway, shouldn't we concentrate on how we can send them back through the fire place."

"Well Naboo can do that when he gets back from Kirk's birthday weekend." smiled Vince. "Come on Howard, please can we keep them?"

"Keep them? Their not pets!"

"Well, can they stay for a bit? Just until Naboo gets home. Hey, you might get to kiss a woman for a change - instead of me, on a rooftop."

"I thought we weren't going to mention that." scowled Howard, blushing violently.

"What you afraid Jen'll think you're gay?" laughed Vince.

"No." Howard blushed, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't fancy men."

"Hey! What's wrong with fancying men?" cried Vince indignantly.

"Nothing, it's just, _I _don't."

"AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Jen from the living room.

"Go on." smirked Vince. "you can be her night in shining armour."

"Shut up." snapped Howard opening the door. "You coming?"

"No. I just need to, erm… yeah." mumbled Vince, racing off to his room.

Howard sighed and walked through the doorway to find Jen pressed up against the wall, staring wide-eyed at Richmond.

"What's going on?" asked Howard.

"He - ate - a - spider!" screamed Jen, pointing a shaking finger at the Goth.

"He what? You what?" Howard said turning to Richmond.

"Well, I was just getting it out of Jen's hair and I have always wondered what a spider would taste like. I just sort of popped it in my mouth."

"Right." frowned Howard, "Can I offer anyone a drink? Cup of tea maybe?" he said, trying to move the conversation on.

"I'll have a whiskey please," sitting heavily on the sofa, "For the nerves" she added, as Howard gave her a questioning look.

"And you?" he asked turning to Richmond.

"Have you got any absinthe? I only drink absinthe."

"Umm, possibly, somewhere. I'll have a look."

"Thanks."

--

Howard hurried back with the drinks and handed the whiskey to Jen. He tried to give the Absinthe to Richmond but he didn't take it. He was too busy staring at a blank space on the wall.

"Ummm, Richmond." Howard said cautiously "You're drink."

"Don't bother, he's re-telling his childhood, he'll be like that for hours."

"Well what am I supposed to do with this?" The taller man asked, holding up the glass of green liquid.

"I'll have it." Howard raised his eyebrows in shock. "It's not everyday you find another world through your cupboard." she added.

"Good point." agreed Howard, downing half the absinthe and passing the rest to her.

"Why don't you sit down?" she smiled, patting the sofa next to her. Howard did so. "So, tell me something about you?"

"I like jazz."

"Oh, oh dear." frowned Jen, inching away from him. "And I thought you were normal."

Howard was about to retaliate when he seemed to think better of it. They were guests after all. They fell into an awkward silence. Howard sipped his tea, more to give himself something to do than anything. Then, just as the silence had become unbearable, the door flung open and Vince stood in the doorway, arms out in one of his favourite poses. Howard and Jen gasped and Richmond even snapped out of his daze to look at Vince's 'Goth' look.

"Oh, that's much better." nodded the Goth approvingly.

"Would I pass as a Goth now?"

"Ummm, no." said Richmond, "But they may not curse you in that outfit." Vince's face dropped a little but before he had time to say anything he was being pushed towards the door by Howard, who was hissing. "What are you doing?"

"I'm rocking the new Goth look."

"You look ridiculous!" Howard said, eyeing up the same gothic outfit Vince had worn during the Nanagedon fiasco.

"_I_ look ridiculous. What about you?! With your corduroy trousers and your Hawaiian shirt… you're an embarrassment!"

"You've got changed because someone came through your fireplace dressed as a Goth. What would you have done if someone came through the fireplace dressed as a Lion?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, animal suits do look like they're going to be coming back in."

"You're kidding."

"Of course I'm kidding." scorned Vince. "Animal suits. Honestly, Howard. Anyway, how's things going with you and Jen?" he giggled.

"They're not going."

"Ah, you told her you liked Jazz." laughed Vince.

"Shut up."

"You idiot."

"I'm not the one in a skirt."

"It's not a skirt, it's my Goth look."

"Whatever. Entertain these two."

"Why me?"

"I want to send them straight back. You're the one who wants to keep 'em here."

"Yeah, but what am I going to do with a woman and a Goth?"

"You'll think of something." called Howard, disappearing out of the flat.

Vince furrowed his brow, thinking hard for a moment before asking:

"Do you two play twister?"

"I thought you were a Goth." replied Richmond.

"Yeah, Gothic twister." Vince grinned "The only colours are black, white, and various shades of grey."

"Um no."

"What about Cluedo? It's a game about murder?"

"Oh no, that sound's horrible." Richmond said, screwing up his face.

"Well what games do you like?"

"Scrabble."

"Scrabble?"

"Yes."

"Okay." sighed Vince, "I think Howard's got a scrabble board in his room. Jen, d'you want to play?"

"Umm no. I'll just… see if I can find a door in the fireplace."

"There's not."

"I'll just look."


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few hours before Howard returned, but when he did he was very taken aback by the events in the living room. Jen was sat on the sofa clutching a cup of tea and seemingly studying the fireplace, whereas Vince was playing scrabble (of all things!) with Richmond. Both were holding a glass of green liquid and pulling disturbingly similar faces as each tried to work out what words they could make with the letters ,and the odd number (God know how they'd got in there), they had on their racks.

"Vince, _you__'__re _playing scrabble?!" exclaimed Howard, in total shock. "I've asked you to play that _loads_ of times and you always refuse. I even had to play with Bollo and he just kept putting the word banana and eating the difficult letters."

"Ah, we were wondering why some of the 'x's had teeth marks in them." Vince said, not looking up from his game.

"Mmm," grumbled Howard looking down at the bored. "No prises for guessing who wrote which words then?" he chuckled as words like 'Death', 'Pointless' and 'Suicide' were crossed with words like 'Glitter', 'Electro' and

"Cherry laces isn't one word Vince." Howard pointed out.

"Shhhhh!" the electro poof hissed.

"Told you." moaned the Goth placing a few more letters down to change Vince's word 'fun' into 'dysfunctional'.

"Stop doing that." groaned Vince, looking down at his own letters. "I'm trying to cheer you up."

"I'm trying to show you there's no point to being happy."

"I'm bored now anyway." sighed Vince, picking up his drink and standing up. Howard eyed the glass.

"You drinking Absinthe now?"

"Yeah." Vince said, his voice unnaturally high. 'No then' thought Howard taking the drink from his friend and sipping it. Lime and water.

"You're ridiculous." hissed the older man handing the drink back, roughly. He couldn't help but smile, Vince was trying _so_ hard to impress the Goth, it was almost sweet. Almost.

"Shut up." scowled Vince, putting the glass on a table and helping Richmond to tidy up the game. "Where've you been anyway?"

"Out." Howard said mysteriously.

"Where?"

"Nowhere"

"Howard!" warned Vince, a small smirk on his face.

"Fine, I rang Naboo."

"Idiot."

"What?"

"You're not supposed to ring Naboo when he's at a rave with the Shaman. He's probably had to drink a turban full of tequila now coz of you."

"He did say something about a turban."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Well you obviously asked how to send them back, what did he say?"

"Umm, he told me he'd sort it out when he got home."

"And?" pressed Vince.

"And that if I ring him again Bollo'll rip my balls off."

Vince laughed, Jen smirked and even Richmond raised a smile.

"Shut up." snapped Howard, sitting down heavily on the sofa. "What are we going to do about sleeping arrangements? There's only two bedrooms in the flat. Ours and Naboo's."

"Well obviously, being the only lady I need a room of my own." announced Jen

"And I'm quite comfortable in a cupboard or a closet." Richmond added.

"Sorted." grinned Vince. "Jen can have Naboo's room, Richmond can sleep in our closet and…"

"He can't stay in our closet."

"Well you could share with Jen." laughed Vince. Both Jen and Howard blushed furiously, which made Vince laugh harder.

"He can stay in the closet." Howard muttered, flopping heavily on to the sofa by Jen.

"Great, well now that's sorted, who want's to watch a film?"

"Yeah okay then."

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Oh, um. Well, I suppose that wouldn't be too terrible." agreed Richmond.

"What film?" asked Vince kneeling down by the DVD's. "I vote Bambi."

"Jazz: A documentary."

"Brigit Jones Diary"

"Greece." They all turned to stare in surprise at the Goth. "What? It is a good film." he said, indignantly.

"I don't mind that." agreed Jen.

"Mmm, I like the songs." agreed Vince, looking up at Howard

"I'd rather gouge my eyes out."

"Would you gouge your eyes out?" Richmond asked, eyes full of what almost threatened to be enthusiasm.

"No." said Howard, turning slightly green at the thought.

"Shall I put Greece on then?" Vince asked.

"Whatever just put it on quickly." gabbled the moustached man, who was looking even more uncomfortable as Jen shuffled up to him on the sofa and Richmond stared at him, seemingly sizing him up, but for what? Who knew.

--

"Roy, do you think it's been quiet around here this afternoon?"

"No Moss."

"Really, I feel like something's missing."

"Have you found your mug yet?"

"No."

"That'll probably be it then."

"I think you're probably right. I may go and look for it now."

"Okay."

**Ring Ring**

"Hello IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? Okay, well have you checked it's plugged in? It's a laptop. Well are you sure it's charged? Yeah, charged. You have to charge laptops otherwise they stop working. You don't know how to charge it? Okay, I'll be up in a minute." Roy put down the phone, sighed heavily and looked up at Moss who was checking the four mugs in the corner of the room again to see if his face was on the bottom of them. "Any luck?"

"None at all Roy. And I'm a little annoyed because I put that face on their specifically to stop people stealing my mug."

"Did you not think though, with the face being on the _bottom_ of the mug, that maybe, _just possibly, _they might not notice the face at all?"

"I hadn't thought about that, but now you mention it, I suppose that could happen."

"Mmmm, do you want a game of guitar hero?""Oh no. I can't play guitar and I'm certainly no 'hero'" said Moss making quotation marks in the air. "I think I'll sit here and compare these two circuit boards." he looked at them before laughing out loud. "Oh dear, oh momma. So different."

Roy rolled his eyes. "I'll ask Jen then." he sighed, heaving himself up from the desk and wandering over to Jen's office. He knocked on the door.

"Jen." he called, when there was no answer. "Jen." he opened the door. "Oh no! She's not here. Moss, Moss. Jen's gone." Roy said, the panic obvious in his voice.

"Oh dear. Where the flip has she got to?"

"Don't know. More importantly, who am I going to play guitar hero with now?"

"There's always Richmond." suggested Moss. Roy looked at the red door almost tempted and then shook his head quickly.

"No way, not him. He'll bring us all down."

* * *

**I am still trying think of a proper story line, hopefully the next chapter will have one (or at least the beginnings of one).  
****  
****  
Anyway, thanks for reading!!  
****Sisi…xx**

**p.s: I don't own Guitar hero (not even the game) I'm a deprived individual. Lol.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm on a bit of a writing roll tonight (which is a bit like a ham roll; but less creative). Basically, I cannot stop writing…**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Howard woke up the next morning to find Vince running round the room in a mild panic.

"Vince." he mumbled sleepily "Vince, what are you doing?"

"I'm looking for… aha, got it!" Vince cried picking up a large pot of 'whiter than white' foundation and raced to the mirror before applying it thickly.

"Woah there." Howard said sitting up, "you don't want to be even paler than you already are. People will think you're a snowman."

"Don't be stupid." smiled Vince, picking up a thick black eyeliner and applying way too much beneath his eyes. "I don't look anything like a snowman."

"Mmmm." Howard looked over to the open cupboard. "Where's Richmond gone?"

"He slept on the sofa, he said that there were too many glittery clothes in the closet. Apparently they were making him dream about butterflies and rainbows, he said it was the worst nightmare he'd had in years."

"What!?"

"I dunno." shrugged Vince, checking himself in the mirror "How do I look?"

"Like an idiot."

"Excellent. What are we going to do about breakfast?"

"I don't know. Toast?"

"Oooo, can we make pancakes Howard? Please, please, pretty please."

"No."

"Oh go on Howard" Vince said, fixing the taller man with big, pleading blue eyes.

"Oh, alright then" he surrendered, "Fine, we'll make pancakes."

"Woo hoo!! Richmond! Jen! We're having pancakes!" cheered Vince, tearing off around the flat.

"Great." came Richmond's monotone reply.

"Okay." said Jen.

Vince sighed, a little exasperated "Is everyone who works in IT miserable?"

"Yes, pretty much. It's a shame really, they bring me down and I'm usually a cheery individual." Richmond said, moving into the kitchen where Vince was pulling out saucepans, frying pans, plates, dishes, spoons, folks, whisks, knifes, skewers and anything else he could find.

"Do you need all this to make pancakes?" Richmond asked, eying the onion Vince had now pulled out of the cupboard.

"I think so, yeah." smiled Vince, "Howard'll know."

--

"Roy?"

"Yes Moss."

"I haven't seen Jen this morning."

"Me neither."

"I haven't seen her for a while now. Do you think we should look for her?"

"No, she'll be fine. Hey, d'you want a game of roller-hockey?"

"Ummm, what about Jen?"

"She's not here."

"That's what I'm saying."

"No Moss, that's what_ I'm_ saying. No Jen, no rules."

"Ummm." Moss looked a little unsure.

"We can look for her after the game." Roy sighed.

"Okay then." agreed Moss, going to the cupboard and pulling out the skates and sticks. "There's only one helmet."

"Well I'll have it then."

"Why?"

"Well you've got your hair to protect you." Roy reasoned, taking the helmet and putting it on. "Now go down there. Right, I score by hitting the sofa and you score by getting the ball in this mug."

"Aren't these goals a little unfair?" asked Moss, placing the ball so that it rested on top of the mug. "The ball doesn't even fit in the cup."

"It'll fit Moss." Roy reassured him.

"I can assure it won't"

"It will. You've just got to hit it in at the right angle."

"Oh I see." said Moss putting down, the mug. "Hey look."

"What?"

"It's my mug. Behold." he said holding up the mug to reveal his face on the bottom.

"That's not even a good picture." smirked Roy.

"Well, it is on a mug."

"Whatever, you can start with the ball."

--

Howard blew out hard, running his hands through his hair. "How did this happen?" he sighed, looking around at the mess in the kitchen. Pancake mix on the ceiling. Pancake mix on the walls and floor. Pancake mix all over the table. Pancake mix on the window. Pancake mix in the colander, down the plug, in Richmond's hair (which he was slowly picking out and eating, almost monkey like) and in Vince's hair, who was running around screaming his head off because his precious coiffure was, as he put it, 'never going to be the same again.'.

"Calm down Vince." sighed Howard, helping Jen up as she put her foot in a puddle of egg yolk and fell straight over. "It's just a bit of batter."

"Just a bit of batter?! JUST A BIT OF BATTER?! I'll pour it all over stationary village then, shall I?! See how you like it!"

"Don't you dare!" yelled Howard

"STOP SHOUTING!" everyone turned to look at the Goth, "Please." he added, quietly "I don't like it when people shout, it makes me nervous. It reminds me of when I used to work for Denholm." he raised his hands, staring into the distance.

"That's the end of him for a while." sighed Jen "Being the only woman I'm going I take the first shower."

"You are not!" cried Vince, tearing off up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door before Jen had even thought about moving.

--

"Goal!" cried Roy, as the ball flew past the sofa, missing it by a about a foot.

"I think you missed." Moss said pushing his glasses up his nose. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you were about 13 inches away."

"I think it was in."

"It wasn't."

"It was, that's 14-0 now."

"I'm sure these goals are unfair."

"There not."

"I'm going to get a second opinion."

"Off who?"

"Richmond." Moss announced triumphantly, opening the red door. "Richmond?" he called.

A few seconds later, he reappeared "He's not there Roy and I haven't seen Jen for a few days now, too."

"Hey, you don't think they've run off… together, do you?" asked Roy. The two men thought for a second and then, in unison, said:

"Nah!"

"But I am beginning to wonder where Jen has gone." Moss said, sitting down thoughtfully.

"Well, when did you see her last?"

"Yesterday morning. I had to go upstairs and sort out Denholm's computer because it was broken, but it wasn't broken though Jen had assured me it was and when I got back…"

"Woah! You left Jen down here… on her own."

"Ummm, yes. I think I did do that."

"After I _specifically_ told you to keep an eye on her?" Roy yelled.

"Ummm, yes."

"Moss!" Roy yelled. "She's obviously gone through the door!"

"What about Richmond?"

"Well, he's probably gone too. There probably stuck in there together and Richmond's probably depressed her, so much, well… she's probably a Goth by now. Well done Moss. You've turned Jen into a Goth!"

"Ooops."

"Come on" sighed Roy, "We'd better get this door open."

The two men walked over to it and pulled. The door didn't budge.

"Okay, we need to work together. On 3. 1,2,3." They pulled, they kept pulling. They pulled some more but the door remained stuck.

"There's no way they went through here." sighed Roy.

"There's no where else they could have gone." Moss pointed out.

"But how would they open the door?" Moss shrugged in response. "Go and get the crow bar Moss."

--

Vince walked into the living room, drying his hair with a towel.

"Still pretending to be a member of The Adam's Family then?" Howard smirked, eyeing the wannabe Goth's outfit.

"Stop insulting Goths." sighed Vince, plugging in a hairdryer.

"I'm not insulting Goths, I'm insulting you. You're not a Goth, not really."

"Shut up!" snapped Vince, turning on the hairdryer and pointing it at his hair. "Where's Jen and Richmond?" he yelled, so that he could be heard over the noisy appliance.

"Jen's using the bath in Naboo's room. I didn't know he had a bath in there, did you? And Richmond's… I'm not sure actually. I haven't seen him for a while. Come to think about it, I haven't seen it since the pancake incident this morning. Maybe he's…"

"What?" asked Vince, flicking off the hairdryer. "I couldn't hear you."

Howard's eyes narrowed until they were just narrow slits.

"What?" Vince asked, completely innocently.

"I said." Howard said through gritted teeth. "Jen's having a bath and I don't know where Richmond is."

"What d'you mean you don't know where he is?" asked Vince. "You were supposed to be keeping an eye on them."

"I know, but I don't even know where he could have got to."

"I'll look for him." sighed Vince.

"Course you will." scowled Howard.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You. You're all over that stupid Goth."

"I'm not." Vince blushed.

"Don't lie Vince. And d'you know what?"

"What!?"

"He even looks a bit like you. I think that's why you fancy him!"

"I don't fancy him!"

"You do! Drinking lime and water, so it looks like Absinthe! Playing scrabble! Watching Greece!"

"I like Greece."

"If it had been just me and you, you'd have moaned and whinged until we watched what you wanted."

"Yeah, but…"

"And you're dressing up like something from the Rocky Horror show, just to impress him."

"It's not for him. It's fashionable!"

"Really? Coz I went out yesterday and _no one_ was wearing gothic clothes. It was that weird hippie-electro thing you were wearing yesterday."

"Yeah, well I set trends! You wait 'til they find out Vince Noir's gone Goth, they'll follow soon enough."

"You're so in love with yourself, aren't you? Which is probably why you're all over someone who looks like you!"

"Are you jealous?" asked Vince. "You want me to be all over you, is that it? You enjoyed what we had on the roof and you want more?"

"No." Howard said, but his burning red cheeks showed he was lying.

"Well, let me remind you, you were the one that turned me down! So, you shouldn't care who I fancy!" Vince screamed storming out of the room.

"Vince? Vince, come back."

"Get lost! I don't want to speak to you!"

* * *

**Sorry, there wasn't much about Jen and Richmond in this chapter!**

**Okay, so this is the direction I'm going in… and a bit of a Howard and Vince argument. What d'you think??**

**Thanks for reading!  
****Sisi…xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Carries straight on from previous chapter...**

* * *

Vince stormed up the stairs.

'Stupid Howard.' thought Vince, 'doesn't know what he's talking about. What a jerk?'

Vince walked into the attic, pushed open the skylight and climbed awkwardly onto the roof.

"Oh, hello Vince." came the monotonal voice of Richmond.

"Oh, hey Richmond." Vince said, wiping away a stray tear.

"You're sad." Richmond said.

"No, no." Vince smiled, "My eyes are just… watering."

"Oh."

"What are you doing up here?" Vince asked, settling down next to the Goth.

"I think it's really quite beautiful up here." sighed Richmond, looking out over Dalston.

"It is. You can see for miles and miles. I come up here when I feel a bit… you know." Vince sighed, hanging his head slightly.

"Why are you sad Vince?"

"I'm not. I'm the sunshine kid, I don't get sad."

"Even sunshine people have off days." Richmond pointed out. "And sometimes Goth's feel happy, though we try to hide it. Visit a graveyard or something."

"Right, yeah. You have to protect your image."

"Mmm, but your not a Goth. So what are you protecting?"

"Dunno." shrugged Vince. Something about the Goth made him feel sort of comfortable, as though he could say anything to him. He felt comfortable and he wasn't sure why. It was like there was some unspeakable connection.  They were completely opposite and yet somehow the same.

"Me and Howard had a fight." Vince admitted quietly.

"Oh."

"He told me I was in love with myself because he think's I fancy you and…"

"What?" asked Richmond, shuffling away slightly.

"I don't." Vince reassured him. "I mean, you're quite good looking and I like your clothes, but, well…"

"I'm not Howard."

"What? No, I was just going to say I don't fancy you. Why would you bring up Howard?"

"I just thought you two were a couple."

"What? No!"

"But you've kissed."

"Umm, once yeah. How did you know that?"

"I could just tell. Why did you kiss?"

"My life depended on it." Vince smiled. "We were sat up here."

"It is romantic."

"But now he wont talk about it."

"It'll be okay Vince."

"Are you trying to cheer me up?" Vince asked in surprise.

"Well, I'm having one of my happy days. I almost laughed earlier when Jen slipped on that batter. That's when I realised I needed to think about something depressing. Seeing you thinking about Howard, well that's one of the saddest things I've ever seen. But I think you should cheer up. It's not right when you're not happy. Anyway, I think Howard likes you, otherwise he wouldn't care who you like."

Vince smiled, as the Goth wiped away another of the electro poofs rogue tear.

"Oh dear." sighed Richmond, looking at his sleeve which was now stained with white foundation.

"Sorry." Vince giggled, before throwing his arms around the Goth's neck. Richmond jumped, then, relaxing a little, hugged him back. "Thanks Richmond." Vince sighed, against the other mans shoulders. "I feel better now."

Just then, Howard popped his head up through the skylight, to see Vince and Richmond holding each other.

"Course you don't fancy him" he snarled. Vince and Richmond jumped apart guiltily and looked at the taller man. "And I was coming to apologise." he said, sounding hurt and dissapointed.  He disappearing down the stairs.

Vince looked helplessly at Richmond.

"Go after him." said Richmond. Vince nodded in response and bolted down the stairs.

From the roof, Richmond watched Howard stomping, angry and upset, along the road and then Vince appeared, chasing after him. Howard had long strides and Vince was almost running to keep up, but eventually Howard stopped and looked at Vince.

"Do you mean that though, Vince? Do you really mean it?"

--

"Ready, aim… fire!" cried Roy. Moss knocked the end off the extinguisher and the metal canister took off across the room and collided with the door with a loud bang, but it didn't leave a dent, or even a scratch.

"I think we need a new plan." said Moss, looking at the huge heap of fire extinguishers which were piling up in the corner of the room.

"We've tried everything." moaned Roy. "Crowbar, hockey ball, Fire Extinguisher, old computer, phone, filling cabinet."

"Jelly."

"Yes, it was _amazing_ the jelly didn't work Moss. I think you should run at it head first. I think you'll open it if you run fast enough."

"Maybe."

"Here, wear the helmet."

"Thanks."

"You ready Moss?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Moss said, thumbs up ducking his head.

"CHARGE!"

Moss ran.

--

"You know." Richmond said to Jen as she appeared in the living room wearing a slim fitting dressing gown, pink with yellow stars. Richmond found it a bit repulsive, 'must be Vince's' he thought.

"What?" Jen asked.

"I'd really like that door to open now."

--

The door swung open and Moss ran straight through, still shouting "CHARGE!"

"Ahhh." Jen screamed.

"Hello Moss." said Richmond, as though Moss running out of the fireplace, across the living room and into the wall at full pace was the most natural thing in the world.

"Moss! Moss!" Roy's voiced echoed around the room. "Moss, are you dead? Is Jen there?  Has Richmond turned her into a Goth?"

"No Roy, it's all fine. Come on in."

"NO!" yelled Jen, as Roy appeared in the living room and the fireplace closed up behind him. "You idiot, that was our way back. Now what are we going to do?"

"No problem." grinned Roy. "Moss, do the honours."

"Don't mind if I do." Moss lowered his head, so that he faced the fireplace. "CHARGE!" he yelled, sprinted across the room and went headfirst into the fireplace and bounced back off again, falling flat on his back.

* * *

**Sorry it's quite short but I felt this was the best place to stop. And I'm going away for a couple of days so I won't be able to update for a while. Sorry again.**

**Anyway, hope you're all still enjoying it!**

**Love for you all!**

**Sisi…xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Roy, Jen and Richmond peered down at the unconscious geek.

"Moss! Moss! Can you hear me? Moss! How many fingers am I holding up?" Roy shouted, holding up two fingers

"You're not holding up any fingers Lala. You're a Teletubbie. You don't have any fingers."

"What's he talking about?" Jen asked.

"I don't know." Richmond said slowly. "I never liked the Teletubbies, I never liked the thought of a baby in the sun. How did it get up there? Why didn't it have a body? Was it hot up there? Did he want…"

"Richmond, Richmond, oi Vampire-man! Shut up!" yelled Roy. Richmond hid quickly behind Jen.

"Don't shout at him." Jen said, "You always shout at him when things go wrong."

"That's because it's usually his fault."

"Sorry, just remind me. Who told Moss it would be a good idea to run head first into a brick wall?"

"Shut up." Roy retaliated, moodily.

"Why don't you pick Moss up and put him on the sofa so that he's comfy? And I'll make us all a cup of tea so we can all calm down!" Jen ordered, loudly.

"Okay." agreed Roy, picking Moss up and virtually throwing him onto the nearby sofa. "Where are we anyway?"

--

"Do you mean it Vince?"

"Of course I do. I could never fall for a Goth. Not really."

"Then what's all this flirting been about?"

"I didn't mean to. I mean, he's cool. I guess I wanted to… I don't know." Vince trailed off, looking at his feet as he drew circles on the pavement with his toe. "Sorry Howard." he mumbled. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"That's okay little man. I think I over reacted."

"Maybe a bit." grinned Vince, cheekily. "I mean what was all that running from the house crying. It was like a scene from Hollyoaks."

"I wasn't crying. Howard Moon, doesn't cry, Sir."

"You cry." scoffed Vince "I've seen you crying. In the corner of the room, when you think no one's looking, blowing your nose in a tea towel. You cry like a baby that's had it's dummy nicked."

"No I don't."

"You do your tears come thick and fast. Forget 'Cry Me a River', someone upset you once and you cried so much you cried the Pacific Ocean."

"Shut up." Howard said, a smile threatening his face.

"Why did you run off Howard?" Vince said, his voice becoming suddenly soft and very quiet. "I mean, you never used to care who I like and now you act like you…" Vince stopped abruptly.

"Like I what, Vince?"

"Nothing." Vince said, grateful for his thick layer of white foundation, which was hiding his red cheeks.

"Vince," Howard said, sounding irritated. "Like I what?"

"Like you love me." Vince blurted out. He regretted it as soon as he'd said it. Howard opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish. He tried to speak but it just came out as a series of indistinguishable noises. Then, realising this was his 'now or never' moment Howard said.

"That's because… I mean. Vince, I lov…"

The shrill sound of Vince's phone sliced through the air. Stopping Howard in his tracks and slapping him in the face with reality. He couldn't tell Vince he loved him. It would ruin everything. Vince fumbled with his phone, cursing himself for leaving it on. Cursing the person who was ringing him. Cursing his sheer bad luck. He was sure Howard was about to say something, admit something. Something… important. Vince turned off the phone, put it in his pocket and smiled apologetically up at Howard."Leroy." he said. "He's always had rubbish timing. What were you saying?"

"Nothing important." Howard sighed.

"You sure?" Vince probed, "I mean if you have something you need to… get off your chest, you should just, you know, say it."

"No, nope. Nothing, but if anything arises. I'll let you know."

Vince's heart sank, but he beamed up at the moustached man, "So, are we still friends?"

Howard nodded. "Of course, we're always going to be friends." Though he wished so hard that they could be so much more.

--

Vince and Howard walked back to the flat in silence, both replaying what had just happened, both wondering what might have happened if Leroy had never rung. Though as they walked up into the flat, the chaos that met them made them forget everything else.

Roy was pacing around the flat shouting at the top of his voice "Another world? Another world?!"

"It's not so terrible." Richmond sighed.

"And they're really nice to us." Jen said.

"Oh, well in that case this situation is clearly terrific! No, wait it's not! It's horrible! It's a _horrible_ situation!"

"Calm down Roy!" Jen screamed. "You're starting to make us all panic!" Roy jumped at Jen's sudden outburst.

"Oh look." Richmond said, pointing up at Vince and Howard. "They're back. Are you friends again now?"

"Yeah. We're friends." Vince smiled, then, turning his attention to Roy, he asked "Who are you?"

"This is Roy." explained Jen, "And the one passed out on the sofa, that's Moss."

"Nice outfit." snorted Vince, looking down at the man on the sofa. "Hey Howard, he's got a similar dress sense to you."

"I don't dress like that." protested Howard.

"Well, you wear similar trousers and you're just as unfashionable."

"Well, I'm not dressed up like something from a Tim Burton movie, if that's what you mean?"

"Stop insulting Goths!" Vince raised his voice. "Seriously Howard, this is your final warning."

"Right." smirked Howard.

"Sorry to interrupt." said Jen. "But in case you haven't noticed, there are now _four_ people in your living room who really shouldn't be here and we have got _no_ way of getting back. Which is fine for these three, they wont be missed. They're social outcasts…"

"Hey," objected Richmond "I'm very popular among my circle of like minded individuals."

"But, I think you'll find a lot of people will miss me." Jen continued, ignoring the Goth.

"Okay." said Howard in an attempt to take control. "Well, you must have got here somehow?" he said to Roy. "What did you do to open the door?"

"Moss bashed the door down with his head." Howard's eyes flicked to Moss who was now muttering "The door? Is it open? Is this Narnia?"

"Right." said Howard, "Let's not try that again then. We need to make a plan."

"Good idea." said Jen. "Let's create a sort of meeting. Have you got a flip bored? Then we could brainstorm some ideas."

"Urgh." exclaimed Vince. "That sounds like a lot of thinking to me. And you know what happens when I think to much, I go orange. I know, I'll go make tea." he stood up and went to the kitchen.

"I'll help." said Richmond, following the electro poof.

--

"So?" said the Goth, expectantly.

"What?" Vince asked, flicking the switched on the kettle so it started to bubble gently.

"I thought you were going to tell Howard you liked him."

"Keep your voice down." Vince hissed. "He might hear you." Richmond popped his head round the door and peered over to where Howard, Jen and Roy were busily discussing possible ways of opening the door.

"We could use an axe." Roy announced proudly, earning himself two filthy glares.

"What about a key?" asked Howard.

"We didn't need when we came through." Jen pointed out.

"I don't think they're listening" said Richmond. "What happened anyway? I saw you, but I couldn't hear anything. It was like when Denholm told me to wear ear plugs once." Richmond said, starting to stare into the distance. "He said it would help me concentrate, but it didn't it just annoyed me. After that I needed Cradle of Filth to keep me stop be from getting to depressed."

"Richmond." Vince called, waving his hand in front of the glazed face of the Goth. "Richmond, come back. Richmond!"

Suddenly, Vince's phone went off sending a techno rendition of Cars piercing through the flat.

"Ahhh!" screamed Richmond, his hands flying to his ears "What is that?"

"Sorry." Vince said, answering the phone. "Hello."

"_Vince? It__'__s Naboo._"

"Oh, hey Naboo. How's the party going?"

"_Yeah, fine, fine. Look. We__'__re on our way back. We__'__ll be a few hours. Those people still there?_"

"Umm yeah, well there's two more now, actually."

"_How did that happen_?"

"I don't know. They just walked through our fireplace."

"_Right, well, I__'__ll be home soon. Just keep them busy until I get there_."

"Okay. See you soon." Vince hung up and asked Richmond to make the tea's before going into the living room. "Howard, Naboo's coming back home." he said excitedly.

"When?"

"He says a few hours."

"Well that's brilliant."

"Yeah, he'll know how to open the door."

"Sorry, who's Naroo?" Jen asked.

"Naboo." Vince corrected her. "He sorta owns this flat. He's a shaman. He'll open this door in seconds." Vince beamed.

"That's great." Howard said, "but we've still got to keep them occupied until Naboo get's back."

"How are going to do that?" groaned Vince.

"Scrabble?" Richmond asked hopefully, placing a tray of tea down on the low coffee table.

With no other idea's Howard and Jen nodded. So Vince ran off to get the game. Roy, who didn't look too thrilled about playing a game, just sat on the floor sulkily.

--

Moss had eventually come round, complaining about a headache. Then, seeing Richmond and Vince stood next to each other, shouted "Ahh there's two of him." and passed out again. Though this time, Jen was ready and promptly threw a glass of water over him. He came back round almost immediately and, after much explanation of where he was and who Vince and Howard were, he decided he wanted to join in the game.

"Vince" moaned Howard, as the electro poof spelled out 'garynuman'

"What?"

"You can't use names."

"Yes you can."

"That's also two words."

"Yeah, well I'm still convinced 'allegretto' is a made up word."

"It's a musical word. You're forgetting I'm a musical genius."

"And your forgetting I always win." smiled Vince.

"But you're not winning, are you?" Howard pointed out, "Moss and Roy are, they've even managed to use the numbers in the right places." he said looking at words like '386SX processor'.

"Polymorphism" shouted Moss, "Oh yes, that's a lot of points. In your face Roy."

"That's not fair." Roy moaned. "That's clearly a '1' not an 'I' and that's a '7' not an 'L'."

"Just because I used the letters effectively Roy. Anyway, Vince wrote 'some1' and no one put in a complaint about that."

"Well he _is _a borderline simpleton." Howard explained.

"Hey!" protested Vince, whilst colouring in his picture book, his tongue sticking out, making him look incredibly child like.

"You haven't put a single word that's longer than five letters." laughed Howard.

"I put 'garynuman' that's more than five letters."

"That's not a word!" Roy shouted.

"Alright, alright." chuckled Vince. "God you lot are competitive. Hey Naboo. Your back." he grinned, looking up to see the Shaman coming up the stairs closely followed by his familiar.

"Hey, scrabble." growledd Bollo. "How you doing Vincey?"

"I'm losing" the wannabe Goth frowned, as Richmond put 'suicide' down.

"Have you tried Banana?" Bollo asked. "Oh you've got a 'Qu' give it here. I eat it. No one ever know."

Vince laughed, "Thanks Bollo, but I'll be okay."

Then he looked up to see Jen, Roy and Moss, pointing at Bollo, trembling ferociously and Vince laughed harder. "It's fine." he reassured them "Bollo's a big baby. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Infact, he probably _couldn't _hurt a fly."

"Hey, Bollo like Karate kid." protested the ape "catch fly in chopsticks."

"Right." said Jen, not looking any less nervous. "You must be Naroo." she said, addressing the tiny Shaman.

"I'm Naboo, that's who." he corrected her.

"Naboo, that's what I said." she smiled. "Anyway, do you know how to open the door?"

"No. I didn't even know there was a door." he said, calmly.

"What!?" Jen screamed. "But they said!" she pointed an accusatory finger at Vince and Howard

"Don't shout." moaned the Shaman "I got a blinder."

"You're hung over?" she continued to yell, when she turned to Howard and Vince. "You built him up as some sort of genius."

"He is." said Vince.

"Well," reasoned Howard, "Maybe not genius, but he is our best hope."

"Right" said Naboo, "I need to find out a few things."

"Moss, Roy, Richmond. You need to come and answer some questions." Jen said. Richmond got up immediately, but Moss and Roy were still playing intensely (or as intensely as Scrabble can be played).

"Moss! Roy!" yelled Jen.

"No, they're okay." said Naboo "I don't think they'll have any useful information. Right, who opened the door?"

"I did." said Richmond.

"Why?"

"Well, because Jen asked me to."

"Jen, did you try and open the door first.

"Yes" she admitted quietly.

"But you couldn't."

"No, it was stuck."

"What about you Richmond? Was the door hard to open."

"No, I thought it was jolly easy."

"Hmmm, that's interesting." said Naboo, thoughtfully.

"No it's not." scorned Howard "Jen's bound to find it harder to open, she's a woman."

Howard felt a sharp pain in his cheek as Jen slapped him.

"What was that for?" he exclaimed, hand flying to his sore face.

"'She's a woman'?" she retorted angrily.

"You _are_ a woman!" cried Howard, "Anyway, I was only saying Richmond probably used some nit-wit gothic voodoo." Suddenly, a sharp pain took over his other cheek.

"What was that for?" Howard asked a scowling Vince.

"I told you to stop insulting Goths."

"Fine, okay. I'm sorry." Howard said, rubbing his cheek.

**Slap**

"Richmond!" yelled Howard "What the hell was that for?"

"Everyone else was doing it." shrugged the Goth. "It looked like fun."

Howard stared in disbelief, turned to Naboo and spat.

"You better come up with a bloody good plan."

* * *

**Also, is anyone else finding this new set-up for uploading _completely_ impossible to work out?? Or do i just have technological dyslexia??**

**Happy Halloween Everybody!!**

**Love ya all  
****Sisi…xx**


	7. Chapter 7

"There's a picture of me." Vince beamed, sat on the arm of Richmond's chair and leaning over him, to point at his own face in a copy of 'Goth Weakly' "Oh and there, that's me and Howard." he said turning the page. "Oh, oh, oh that's me and my friend Leroy."

"There's a hand in front of his face." said Richmond.

"I know." frowned Vince "He always manages to be hidden when there's camera's around. Oh look, that's me dressed like Nikki Sixx…"

"Oh." said Richmond. "To be honest, I'd rather read heat."

"…and that's me, my hair looks good there. I think you'd look good with your hair like that." Vince said, completely ignoring Richmond. "Maybe, you could…" he trailed off as he caught Howard's eyes. The older man looked a little hurt angry and… was that a hint of jealousy? So, Vince unwrapped himself from around Richmond and beamed at Howard as if to say 'see, I don't fancy him at all'.

"I've got it." cried Naboo, throwing down a book called 'Portals, Doors and Black Holes'. "Richmond?"

"Yes."

"Before Moss ran through into the living room, did you mention the door at all?"

"Umm, I don't know. Possibly."

"Yes, I seem to remember he did." Jen said suddenly. "He said something like, 'I'd like the door to open'."

"Say it now." said Naboo. "Say you want the door to open."

"I want the door to open."

"Vince, check the fireplace."

"Why me?" groaned Vince. "Make Howard do it." The older man scowled at him, which made Vince giggle like a naughty child, who knows they been cheeky.

"Vince!" warned Naboo.

"Fine." he said huffily, getting up and pushing the back of the fireplace. "Nothing, it's not open."

"Hmm," frowned Naboo. "But I was sure it would open. It's a Macabre Door, it says in that book that it can be willed open by a Goth. Try again he said, but really mean it this time."

"How can that ever work?" laughed Roy, "You can't force someone to say something and then tell them to mean it."

"Well if he doesn't mean it, you lot aren't going home." said Naboo.

"Mean it Richmond. For god sake, mean it!" Roy yelled. The Goth jumped, nodded and, closing his eyes, he wished, more than anything, that the green door would open. And, just as Naboo suspected, the door flung open. Vince peered through.

"Wow." he said, "Is that your world?"

Just as he was about to step through the door, Denholm strolled into the office bellowing "Jen! Roy! Moss! Where are you? I have a problem with my computer and no one is there to sort it out. JEN! ROY! MOSS! Hurry up or I'll wage war on computers." Vince virtually screamed and scurried across the living room hurling himself at Howard, who instinctively put his arms around the small mod. Despite himself, Richmond raised a smile when he saw this but he quickly shook it off before anyone noticed.

"Can we go home now?" he asked.

"I'd wait a bit." Vince squeaked, "There's a man in there and he's terrifying."

"That'll be Denholm" smiled Jen, "he is a bit scary."

"I don't really know if I want to go home." the Goth said suddenly, and the door slammed shut. "I like it here. Vince and Howard are nice to me, they never once stuck me in a cupboard or threatened me with a broom or…"

"But you can't stay here." Jen said softly. "You have to come home with us."

"You do." said Naboo, "If you stay too long terrible things will happen."

"Like what?"

"Well, um, I don't actually know. But I'm sure something bad will happen, it usually does when two worlds collide."

"But I…"

"Richmond." Vince said softly. "Richmond. It'll be okay. I know it will."

"How can you say that?" Richmond asked, storming out of the room dramatically. Vince followed, detaching himself from Howard, who looked a little embarrassed as the realisation of how close he'd been holding Vince hit him.

"Richmond?" Vince asked, sitting down on the bed next to the Goth. "What's going on?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to be in that cupboard anymore. I don't want to do a job that I don't understand. Everyone ignores me."

"They wont anymore." smiled Vince.

"We wont" agreed Jen, appearing in the doorway. "You can come out of that room whenever you want. We're happy to have you."

"Really?"

"Yes. But first we need to go home Richmond."

The Goth nodded slowly.

"Open the door." encouraged Vince, putting a comforting hand on the other mans shoulder.

"You know, I think I'll miss you Vince."

"I'll miss you too." smiled Vince, throwing his arms around the other mans neck. "But you can visit us anytime you want. I'll make sure I've got lots of Jelly Babies. Maybe we could have a game of gothic twister? Or gothic snakes and ladders, it's called lakes and daggers, it's genius… except there's no way of winning. Hey, maybe that's why Goth's are miserable, they play board games they can't possibly win."

"Maybe." agreed Richmond, a look of bemusement sneaking across his pointed features.

"Come on." said Jen softly, putting a hand on the Goth's shoulder. "Open the door, let's go home."

"Okay." nodded Richmond, closing his eyes and willing the door open. In the other room, the back of the fireplace opened up.

--

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." said Jen, hugging Vince and then turning to hug Howard. She seemed to linger on Howard's hug for an uncomfortably long time. Vince felt a pang of jealousy stab through his heart but it soon past when he saw Howard's face which was screaming 'Help, get her off me!'.

"Yes, thank you for the game it was very enjoyable." said Moss, holding out his hand. Vince took it uncertainly and the two men shared an awkward hand shake. After a few more goodbyes, including a screaming fit from Jen (and Roy, although he wouldn't admit it), when Bollo tried to hug them goodbye. Roy as good as pushed Moss through the fire place, before following him, muttering something about mad apes. Jen shook her head and looked at Vince and Howard apologetically. Before saying "Goodbye" and following the others through the fireplace.

Then it was the turn of the Goth. Richmond followed her but just as he was about to disappear he turned to look at the two men, who were stood side by side.

"Vince."

"Mmm?" said the mod.

"Just tell him. Tell him what you told me." And with that they were gone.

--

It was about an hour since the others had gone back to their own world. Naboo and Bollo had gone down the hall to sleep off their hangovers and Vince and Howard had been sitting in relative silence ever since. Richmond's words playing on both their minds.

"Here." Howard said quietly, handing Vince a mug of tea.

"Thanks."

"You okay?" Howard asked, after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah, it's just weird, you know."

"Yeah." Howard sighed, taking a long sip of tea, before falling, yet again, into an uncomfortable silence.

"How-"

"Vince"

"You first." smiled Vince.

"Look, what Rich-" then he paused, he thought for a moment and sighed "Your tea okay?" he finished limply.

"Yeah, it's fine." Vince smiled politely. What was wrong with them? Why was there conversation so stilted and awkward? Why could either of them just say what was on their mind?

"What were you going to say?"

"Nothing." lied Vince, "I mean, it's not important."

"Right."

Vince looked down at his mug, moving it around so that the, now cold, tea sloshed around in the bottom. The two men just sat for a while, both avoiding eye contact with the other. The awkward atmosphere building and building until Vince couldn't handle it anymore, he walked out, excusing himself clumsily. "I'm just going to… erm, yeah."

--

After a while, Howard decided he needed to get away from his own thoughts. So he climbed into the attic and up on to the roof. When he sat down, he was surprised to find Vince sat hugging the chimney for support, sobbing silently.

"Vince?" Howard gasped "Vince, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing." sobbed the smaller man, drying his tears with his sleeve.

"Look, is this about what Richmond said? What do you have to tell me? Is it serious? Are you ill? You're ill, aren't you? Oh God! Oh no. How bad is it?"

"I'm not ill." Vince said. "It's nothing important. Not really, I'm just being stupid. Over reacting as usual."

"Look Vince, if it's making you this upset then it's important. Just tell me what's wrong, eh?"

"I, I mean I… I"

"Come on Vince." Howard encouraged, "What can you tell a total stranger, but not me? Your best friend."

"I like you." Vince blurted, wincing as he said it as though expecting a punch to the gut, verbal or literal.

"Well I like you too but I really don't see what that's got to do with…"

"No!" interrupted Vince "I _really _like you."

"I really like you. I mean we've been friends for a very long time and…"

"No Howard, I mean I fancy you, have a crush on you, want you to be my boyfriend. However you want to put it." Vince almost shouted, blushing furiously, then he finished calmly. "D'you get it now?""Yeah." breathed Howard, his eyes wide. "That pretty much cleared everything up."

"I'm sorry if you thought I liked Richmond." Vince said quietly, his eyes falling to their fingers which had somehow become entwined. "And I'm sorry for acting like a git and for breaking your records and mocking stationary village and your clothes and for…"

"Shhh." soothed Howard, wiping away the tears which were starting to roll down Vince's cheek leaving tear tracks in the foundation. "None of that matters now."

Vince nodded, snivelling pathetically. "I'm sorry." he hiccoughed "I'm acting like a baby. It's just… I guess, I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" chuckled Howard, lovingly.

"Of how much I love you."

"Oh Vince." the older man breathed. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that."

"Really?"

"Yes. I love you Vince Noir. That's why I acted so funny when you were all over Richmond, that's what I tried to tell you yesterday before Leroy rang."

"Really?" Vince repeated dumbly, his eyes lighting up. Howard nodded and leant forward so that their foreheads touched. So close. Their breath mingling. Noses touching. Hands caressing. Lips…

The cars theme tune ripped through the air, causing both men to jump away from each other violently.

"Damn phone." screamed Vince, pulling it out of his pocket and hurling it over the edge of the roof so that it fell to the pavement below.

"Ow." growled Bollo, who'd just gone to put out the rubbish. The ape went on to moan that the sky was falling for the next three days.

"Leroy and his bad timing?" enquired Howard, a smirk playing across his face.

"Yeah."

"You'll regret doing that in a minute."

"So." Vince shrugged "Now." he said, lowering his voice invitingly, and walking his fingers up the other mans chest. "Where were we?"

And with that, he launched himself at Howard, almost knocking him over the side, and stole a kiss. Howard's kiss. A kiss that Vince felt was so sacred. A kiss that only ever Vince would witness. The most beautiful moment. The most perfect moment . He loved Howard, Howard loved him. Nothing would ever go wrong again.

--

"Open. Close. I have power." announced Richmond. "Look. Open, and the door opens. Close, and the door closes."

"That's very good Richmond but you've been doing it non-stop for the last three days." groaned Roy.

"Ah, but watch this. Open, and the door opens. Shut. Nothing. Why doesn't it shut? I don't know. Close, and the door closes." he looked around at the others in the room, seemingly very proud of himself. "Do I amaze you?"

* * *

**Thanks very much for reading!! And thanks very much for reviewing (they've all been brilliant)!! Can't believe I finished (I loved writing this it was SO much fun). Hope you enjoyed reading it!!!**

**Love ya****'****all!  
****Sisi****…****xx**

**_[Also, as an after thought; I'm trying to work out what genre to put. I was going to put humour, but I don't really like doing that because it sort of assumes it's funny… oh well, doesn't really matter does it?]_**


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